There is no way to escape yourself from being caught by dilemma.From the very big decision to the very tiny little thing in life..it is all bring dilemma to me.How?I just don't like making decision.And to make decision for me is like risking yourself and others.That's the point,I don't like to take risk.Huh~ so much "don't like"..I opt to be like this.And I have to face the consequences...
To make decision is not a big deal for some people that would never matter anythings around them.Especially for self-centered guy,they never take much time to decide.That easy to them..to me ,deciding is what I hate the most.Too bad because life is all about decision.And a bad decision will invites dilemma..haunting myself and people around me.Worst thing is I tends to delay the decision.I really don't like part of myself doing this...
Dilemma and decision makes me feels regret of what I have already done in the past.Looking back,there is just so much thing that if I were given time to decide WELL at that moment,I will not have this feeling of regret like this anymore.I can't help wasting another decision in my life.To this very moment,I keep telling myself..that it is okay now..everything is going to be normal...but for how long..This dilemma in life.it keeps on haunting me every minutes and every second.Every breathe inhaled is full of regret.I really can't handle this anymore.I always wish things in my life to be better.But,do I act like I really want it to.No...
All this while,I am denying this dilemma..pretending as if everything is okay.But it does not work that way.Oh god,ujian apakah ini?Terlalu berat untuk ku tanggung nya.And I cant simply said..
"Dilemma....ini pensel kau,ini buku sketch kau.Sekarang kau boleh pergi jauh-jauh dari hidup aku...Dan jangan pernah kembali...
If this dilemma were a thing,then fine.I can send it away from keep haunting my life.But dilemma is stuck inside my head.And the fool me just can't stop thinking of it everyday.
I talk like dilemma is not there.I act as if dilemma is not with me...Truth is..no matter how much i try..it keep coming..The more I denying it,the harder it is to vanished..
To dilemma,
if you are meant to brings good to me,then tell me how that goods come to me.
But if you are not..stop haunting me like this...